I am the raft commander

To say the last five weeks has been the longest five weeks of my life would be an understatement.  At times I’ve even thought I’d rather hold a huntsman spider than carry on this training course and for those of you that know my fear will know that this course must be hard to even contemplate that!!

Almost there!!!

I am being trained on two aircraft, Boeing 737 and the little E-Jet. I hear you ask how can I struggle with this after flying the bad boy that is the Boeing 747???? The simple answer….Virgin Australia is anal!

If I can give any of you advice it is, if you ever fly V.Australia don’t mess or pick on the crew.  I have learned fighting techniques that I am too scared to use!!!! If someone is kicking off, I have to approach them with my hands guarding my face and say, “please don’t hurt me, what is it you want?” while they think I am being a helpless trolley dolly I then attack…..with my 3 middle fingers, I have been trained to gorge the persons eyes until my second knuckle in my fingers is in their eye socket! All the while shouting “Eyes, Eyes, Eyes” at the top of my voice. While they are screaming in pain I quickly retract my hands and as hard as I can I kick them in the groin area or punch them in the jaw. The instructor’s advice “if you see straw like fluid coming out of their eyes and you break their jaw you’ve done your job well”.  The moral of this story….don’t mess with an Aussie trolley dolly!!

'Special' assistance after long training session at 2am

I’ve also been trained in fighting fires.  Kicking and screaming we all had to go the local “firery” to be trained by the local fire-fighters!  We had to tackle fires in smoke filled cabins which was fun. The best part of the day had to be going in the fire engines and fighting a fire by operating the water cannons. We had great fun, although my aim was a little off!

Inside the engine with a fireman

Tackling a fire

The funniest moment from the course has got to be Tuesday just gone.  We had to go to a swimming pool within the Qantas Village to do our wet drills and life raft scenarios.  We were told that one at a time we would be given a scenario- we would have had an emergency landing at sea and evacuated the passengers into life rafts and we would have to gain control of the situation as the “The Raft Commander”. I got given the worst scenario, I had to instruct all my passengers (those being my fellow course members) to erect the canopy.  Now let me set the scene…..I HATE getting my hair wet.  We have already been in the raft for an hour and we are wet and unimpressed by this point!  So I get given this scenario. All of a sudden the lights go out and its pitch black and this freezing cold water is falling like rain on us.  I actually feel like I am in the middle of the Pacific Ocean! Being completely caught up in the moment I start screaming uncontrollably because I thought that the life raft had a puncture in it and the freezing cold water was the spray from the leak! After screaming like a banshee, I realise that I am in fact “The Raft Commander” and I need to take control of the situation. We finally, after 4 long cold minutes and with dripping wet hair and panda eyes from running mascara erect the canopy.  When the lights went back on I noticed the massive shower heads above the pool where the cold water had come from rather than my make believe leak! I actually passed my assessment. My feedback was “try and take control of the situation quicker and without screaming!”

Never a dull moment in this glamorous job!

I have now completed all my 22 safety exams and have aviation medicine and service training to go. Then in a week and a half I will have my well-earned Aussie wings and will be preparing to take to the skies once again.